To you, my love

I know you don't know me yet; I don't know you yet, but I am writing this one, for you, to you, my love.

I am writing this for you and to you because I know you deserve every feel, word, letter and punctuation mark I'll be putting on this. 

I am writing this for you and to you, for me. 

I love you, but I love me more. I am sorry to tell you, but I hope you would understand. I understand if you love you than you love me. I understand if you put you first before me. I promise, I understand. Because, my love, I respect all your passions. I am happy to know that you have your own, because I have my own passion too besides you - art, traveling, writing. I want you to know that I will support you all the way, like cheerleaders do for their basketball team - win or lose, my love, I'll always got your back. 

I love you and all sides of you. I love you when you're on time, and I love you when you're 5 minutes late. I love you, all of you. I hope you love me too, all sides of me. I hope you love me when I obey you, and I hope you love me more when I say no to you.

My love, I want you to know I love being alone. I love going away alone, meeting strangers and finding home away from everyone else. Don't worry if one day I say to you, I am going away without you, because I promise you, I'll come back for you and to you. You are my home, but I am my home, too.

I want you to know that I like to eat, but I hate cooking. I like to go to beach and climb mountains, but I hate camping. I like painting, my love, but don't expect me to paint you, don't get me wrong, I just never like painting anyone close to my heart. I want you to know that I am not cheesy, but I'm romantic, but I'm realistic too. 

I don't want to be selfish. 

I wont stop you from going to your usual boys night out with your best guy friends. I wont stop you from going to extreme adventures with your main men. Just make sure you'll come home to me. Be safe, and behave, because my love, I put my trust in you as you put yours to me. I don't want to be selfish to you and to the people around you before me, just come home to me.

I tell you again, my love. You can do all your passion without me, but if you wish, we can do them together - you and me. I respect your time and space. I respect you and your passion, because I love you and I'm happy for, with you. 

Please don't get tired

I don't want us to get tired of each other. I want us to be excited of our future. I want us to look forward to each day we are together. I want us to be best friends part from lovers. I want us to keep each other's secrets and not to keep secrets from each other. I want us to always take adventures and also to just sit or lay down in our bed with nothing but pillows and the white blanket and sheet once in awhile. I want us to have these out of this world talks, the nonsense ones, and also I want us to have serious conversations and intelligent arguments.

Of course, we will fight, we'll have arguments, but I hope we resolve each one of them. I hope you wont let me go to sleep angry, because I wont let you. I hope you wont let me walk away from you and the fight we are having. I hope you stop me from escaping. 

My love, I would like to build dreams with you, but I like it more if we turn our dreams into reality - together. I am not asking for your forever, my love, but I hope you give me your lifetime. I am willing to give mine to you, if you allow me to. But if one day, you wanna go away from me, if one day you say you'll never come back for me and to me, I'll let you go. I'll let you go, because I love you and I want you be happy like the others, I want to be happy too, like your others.

But my love, I hope you promise me...

Promise me, my love. We will fight for each other, whatever it takes, we will fight until we have no reason to fight anymore. I hope you can promise me, I am your last as I promise you are mine. I hope you promise me, that I will never write about another heartbreak again, because you will never give me one.  And I hope you promise me to never let go, to never break a promise, because a promise is made and not made to be broken.

I love you.
Joanna