Could Have Been

I am not sure, but it might could have been you. 

Hi, A! I saw you today, on TV. I'm proud of you, I hope you know that. I guess, you always knew that. 

Whenever I talk about you, I never fail to say how proud I am to you. I know we both don't know each other too well, but we had (have) connection. Somehow, somewhere we both know we have something special. Whenever my friends ask me how, where and when did I meet you, I simply say you and I met in a most ridiculous way, in a most unexpected place, and during the times that I was lost. I found you, thank you. I still remember that moment, the feel of that moment, to be honest. To me, it was a huge drive to take the plunge of befriending you. I can't believe I did, and thank God, I did it.

We know that we are both each other's escape. You had your ups and downs, but you had me. I was struggling to move forward, but I had you. We are both strangers to each other's eyes, but we (almost) had each other. I was there when you needed someone to listen to you. I was there when you needed someone to understand you. I never asked anything in return, but you were there when I needed someone to talk to, and you were there when I needed someone to relate to. You were gone quite sometime though, but you never left. I know you never left.

I feel sorry that it was at the wrong time for the both us - You're in a relationship, I was a mess. Sometimes, I still wonder, what if you and I met at a different plot? What if you and I attended the same university and become friends during our college years? What if there was not she and her? What if there's just you and I? Whenever I try to answer these questions in my head, the answers just make me smile, a lot. Maybe we really are the ones for each other, but we just came at the wrong time. Maybe we could have been, but we didn't push through. Maybe if we just met in a different time, place and manner, it could have been us. Maybe...

I'd like to think that we are a great story with an open-ended ending, because honestly, I don't want to give us an ending. I don't want us to end. I hope you don't get me wrong, because all I'm saying is, I like us to stay friends, because friends never break up.

You are a treasure. Like treasure, when I found you, I wanted to keep you, but I can't have you. You are never my property, you are someone else's, but you are a treasure. 

If I had to go back in the day I first saw you, I would definitely do the same thing I did before, because A, there are a lot of things I did in the past that I don't regret of doing, and one of those is meeting you. 

To A.M.L